Week 4: Bros before Ho(mos)

I'll be the first to admit that, as a female, I've often believed that men have it easier in life than most women do. In fact, this type of conversation gets brought up quite a bit when I'm with my other girl friends. It may be that we're just a bunch of jealous and hormonal creatures, but of course we all know that there's more to it than that; the issue of gender equality has been raging for many decades. Last Friday at the Women's Resources Center,  I experienced a slight shift in my perspective towards men though.
Kenneth Importante, Rory James, and Herb Jones were the three male speakers who led a discussion on "Bromance: Exploring the Rewards, Challenges, and Tensions of Men's Friendships," which was a part of the Diversity Ed's 'Conversation Cafe' Lunch On Us series.

Importante spoke to us about his experiences during his college years, a time when he was constantly self-aware of his behavior and actions because of the fact that he was gay. Being true to one's self, he said, was probably the most important virtue at the end of the day. At the moment, I certainly appreciated the inspirational message in his words. It's an ideal that many of us would aim for, but I can't help but wonder how often we are actually being "true" to ourselves.

The bulk of the conversation was initiated by images from their slideshow, as seen to the right.
During the 1960's, the "Rat Pack" was a star-studded male group of American actors and singers that appeared in films, including the likes of Frank Sinatra and Sammie Davis, Jr. The point being made was that back then it was probably unheard of to point out any homosexual undertones within popular culture, whereas today the male-to-male relationship is always being questioned. In our world where hetero-normative beliefs have always reigned supreme, the word "bromance" has come to have a very sexually charged connotation.
Tons of homoerotic imagery can be found just by doing a quick Google search of "bromance". Also, the phrase "no homo" has become a staple in the urban dictionary of the 21st century. A member of the audience shared an interesting example. While on Facebook, this person noticed that one of her female acquaintances also wrote "no homo" at the end of a wall post on another female's page - even though she was just expressing her love for the friendship. The existence of this phrase in modern culture seems to beg a larger conversation.

My perspective began to change the most when we started to talk about the bigger social and psychological issues at hand that today's men face. Regardless of sexual orientation, there is a strong need for males to have access to loving, platonic relationships with other males, but without the labels and assumptions that society has made. Why? One of the speakers explained that social support is lacking in college men. Expressing raw emotion is somewhat of a big "no no" in regards to masculinity, with the exception of sports of course. And because of that, males are more likely to keep pent-up feelings or serious concerns to themselves, which can certainly lead to destructive behavior. In order to get this deeper conversation going though, it seems like men will have to take their "bromances" beyond just the football field and gym.